I have lost my trooper status

Jeff had be re admitted:

Time line: last night he was having more out put from the stoma in his incision. We called the visiting nurse and someone came out today. She noted he had a temp of 100.4 and said take him to ER.

We did. We were there four hours and they sent him home, no urinary tract infection, no pnuemonia. The drainage was not extreme.

We get ready for bed 10:30 ish and he is "wet"

He is pouring fluid and he's really upset standing in the kitchen in a growing puddle of reddish/orange liquid.

I call 911

The first operator gets all my infromation then tells me she is transfering me to the paramedics (that was 6.5 hours--ok not really but it felt like it). Then the phone rings and rings and rings and rings. This lady is asking me to put pressure on it to stop the fluid and make him sit down.

Not gonna; happen. Given them info and am yelling and crying they need to get someone here. The shit is splashing, it's got current and dog hair is floating around. That's a lot of STUFF to pour out of someone. The paramedic says they are on their way and hangs up. Jeff wants a bucket.

Put a bucket under him and he says he is in pain. Get him into kitchen chair and mess slows so he has me undress him and we see it's not from the stoma with the bag (which was what happened in the hospital on 10/31) it's from his incision.

I get him the hospital gown we "borrowed" when he left and put a blanket on him and call todd. The fire truck is sort of ambling down the road at his point going really slow so I flag him down.

He thinks it's piss on the floor and is pissed I called because my husband is incontinent (doesn't say this but you can sort of tell it)

Finally they arrive but I have had a melt down, crying and yelling and sobbing and the kids are now up and crying and sobbing so Jeff tells to stop scaring the kids.

Try to explain to them I'm not mad at them and Daddy isn't dying it's just annoying and upsetting and it took SOOOO long for the paramedics to arrive. (jacque noted they got him stuck on the door handle going out).

Jeff noted todd beat the ambulance to the hospital because they couldn't get an iv in him and they wouldn't drive until they did.

Laura K came and stayed with the kids. I got to ER, jeff had been in the room 1 hour and a nurse saw him and drew the blood she thought they would need and was waiting for an order. He was in pain, leaking fluid all over and he had not been seen. When I asked people I got brushed off. I called his surgeon and the on call guy said he couldn't do anything. So I asked was I supposed to take him to another hospital? What did I do to get him seen. The PA came in and condescended all over me left.

I lost it, crying and saying stupid shit about everything about feeling like this was never gonna end and no way out and jeff was upset with me. I just couldn't stop crying and yelling. Finally I calmed down and 2 surgeons came in. They looked at things and said, yep, dumped some fluid. Left and a woman came in to admit him.

"You said you came here to be admitted. That's the point of coming back the second time in one night isn't it?"

We were like no; the surgeon said we might be able to go home. But alas, no, jeff had a temp of 102.

So we are right back at the rotten horrible beginning. Horrible bed, horrible chair, beep fucking beep machine, being awakened every hour or two. And he will be there for 5 to 6 days. They have him on IV fluids nothing b y mouth for at least 2 days. Then they have to build him up to eating solids again.

This is the best part:

His kidneys are at 20 percent of normal function (80 percent failed)
He is filled with fluid and his feet so swollen he can't walk
The only way to improve his kidneys is with protien
The only way to get the cells to take up that fluid is to get protien in him
There is no way to get protien when he is NPO
They are pumping tons of fluid in so they are adding to the fluid but decreasing his protien
He will be more swollen and more painful in a few hours
so he will be in the hospital being told to walk and move and sit in a chair that is pure torture and kept on an IV that doesn't let him sleep and yelled at to walk but he cant move because he is in so much pain and trapped by the IV and pole which way a fucking ton and BEEEp everytime he moves.

Tomorrow I have to call disability. they sent us a check for 0.0 dollars.
I have to cancel homecare
have the bed and trapeez picked up.
Call the ostomy nurse from before and let her know he is back in hospital.
call work and plan to return regardless at least on tuesday and thursday.

I'dlike to get some sleep started steroids for migrains and feel really frustrated I still have pain here and there and am so tired,

PBW has surrendered to useless self pitying whimp wife. USPWW, looks like a parcel delivery service, doesn't it?